you never really know what you have until its gone. until you see its back towards you for good. until you feel the feeling of your heart sinking so deep down into your body, and then it starts to bleed. the pain of that person leaving is forever in your heart and the pain will never go away because they took a piece of your heart with them. and who knows what they are doing with that piece of you. the feeling of losing someone is unbearable, but its not the fear of them leaving that hurts us, its the fear of knowing they arn’t coming back. its the heartbreak of knowing that what was once love is now hate, what was once attraction is now discust. its the sight of what used to be your beautiful green brown eyes staring at me that are now turning into you driving away and never looking back. the tears they fall and now your not here to catch them, and theres nothing i can do about it. because your leaving, and your leaving for good. who knows the next time you are coming back. probably never. You’ll never find someone else like me and i will never find someone else like you. the feeling of your feet twirling with my toes late at night. its the kisses you give me when we watch the sunset. its the fact that your hand fits perferctly into mine and my heart sinks every time you touch me. its the love we make and show off to every other couple. i never want to lose you but time isn’t in our hands anymore. we havn’t got time to waste. i’ll love you forever and ill never look back in regret. your mine and i am yours and we both know it. time is tearing us apart and eventually we will just be seconds away from losing each other for good.
.. i hate college
So last night I sat ony my computer and talked to my ex boyfriend and my new college friend. I hate talking to him because he makes me feel like a piece of meat. He fucked up our relationship completly and I got so hurt by it. He kinda messed my life up a little but but its allright because I am totally 100% back on track and just trying to live my life. He ended up cheating on me but still told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. I just didn’t get it, like which one is it dickhead, do you wanna fuck me, mess with my head, or did you actually love me. So fuck with him, I tried moving on and I found jake. He was in front of my eyes the whole time. I guess its whorish to have hopped from mike to jake but who gives a fuck the whole school calls me a whore anyway. But yeah so that was my night. Mike misses me, I know he does. But whatever sucks for him. Once a cheater always a cheater and I have much more respect for myself. Idk why I am up at 7:22 on a summer day. I think it is because of the rain. The rain gives me headaches. Its a bad medicial problem that my mom has been telling me she’s taking me to a docter to get checked out for the past 4 years. She’s a procrastinater. Whatever. I love my parents, I just wish they understood that were not in their country at their time period. Being a teenager is soooo hard and way to emotional for me. High school broke me down into a million pieces. Like freshmen year when the cool senior boy who took my virginity broke my heart by yelling at me in front of everyone. He said he regreted taking it from me and told me I was worthless or something like that. Whatever who cares. Since then I’ve always just so happened to be very easy becuase I felt so worthless. A year after that some boy slid his hands down my pants in class, and I just didn’t give a fuck. I havnt really cared about myself all through my life up until new years eve on 2010.(That’s another story for you guys)but yeah back to the whole waking up early thing. So jake and I had a whooole day planned and he’s been away foreverr. I wish I had friends who knew who I was. I hope I make friends at school. Its hard being without friends, I pretend I don’t care like my status on fb is “liiiiffffeeee is gooooodd” but so far my life sucks. I am not friends with my girls anymore, I know I shouldn’t be because they really don’t know the real me and I’m sick of pretending to be someone I am not. But why does it hurt so bad to be lonely? I need new friends and I need to stop thinking and it needs to stop raining and jake needs to wake up and I need to stop writing. Bye.
this is beautifulNick Conroy is my new favorite person.
HE IS A KEEPER.
I want to add him
Pahhahaha.
i personally think nick conroy is a dick, but you know, whatever.
gfjklda’gjrejbdae OH MY GOD
i do like their bathing suits tho
i wanna be friends with this Nicholas Conroy kid
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH MY LIFE IS COMPLETE
this whole tumblr thing is kinda cool. I finally got the point that i can write whatever i want on here and express myself and not give a fuck what any of you think. (no offense) But why are we so brave to type our minds away on here but are so afraid to speak ourselves out in person. I know who i am and that person is locked deep away in my heart and mind. The only person who truly knows me is my boyfriend Jake. Besides that, no one knows who i truly am, not even my “friends”. No one knows that i love Simple Plan and would kill to see them in concert, instead i pretend to LOVE Nicki Minaj simply because thats what everyone else does. I do not know why I pretend to like drugs when deep down inside, alcohol is all i’ll ever love. (maybe coke somes :p) I dont know why i dress the plain mary jane way when I can dress like myself, and wear the things I want to wear. But since high school is over, i’ve decided to stop being this fake person and become the real deal me. And you tumblr are going to help! From now on i dont give a fuck what any of you say. I am going to be me regardless. And that starts tonight! I am starting my life all over again and i am excited.
